In case you haven't been to the Leisure Plaza recently (why would you ?) .. we found this stapled to the boarded up door of the Empire: Click to enlarge. Its basically notification that mystery organisation Mya Mya have applied to open the folly known in official circles as Empire Red (or 1, Leisure Plaza. if you work at the Post Office) with a progressive license featuring music events, late night entertainment and refreshment under the 2003 licensing act. The venue formerlly known as Pink Flamingos (colloquiallly, The Rusty Duck, latterly The Empire) was famous locally for its hench raves under the toxic management of the Rosenburgs, and chancer promotional team of the Lamberts (Accelerated Culture, Hardcore Till I Die, Sidewinder, Helter Skelter etc etc). Officially the venue has never had a licence under the 2003 Licensing Act, and although we know the real cause of that was the councils negative attitude rather than any mismanagement, the official version of records show complaints from the Loughton grid, (one particular neighbour, a freind of councillors, living in Pink Close, who bought his house cheap because of.. or rather..) despite the area being designated as noisy (on account of the A5 and mainline railway and the reason why venues were built there in the first place) This being the first such application under the new Act, we thought we'd check it out (girls). We eventually found this document uncovered by google (but not the search function or help system of the website) which says this: The applicant (Mya Mya) holds a premises licence in the theatre district at Spice Lounge and it is also believed that there is also a connection to Buddha Blue. oh dear. Buddha Blue, keen observants will notice has been shut. Under rather a cloud actually. We can't find an address for Mya Mya, and frankly can't be arsed to find out whether Buddha Blue was closed because it was crap (financially) or just crap (violence) or whether these alledged links are true or not. Anyway, theres more: A visit to Empire Red by the Licensing Officer confirmed that the plan submitted is not an accurate reflection of the venue but despite requests an updated plan has not been provided. Speaking as the engineer last in charge of the venue - its not useable without significant investment anyway - it should be condemned in its current state, and any attempt to open it as it stands should be concreted over - a bit like the broken toilet pipes running under the dance floors, which cause contant leaks and a serious pong. The document goes on to state: The venue itself would be one of the largest in the borough with an occupancy anticipated to be in the 1000s. There are no other premises in Central Milton Keynes with a 5am licence. Both the Police and Environmental Health are objecting to the application and the Licensing Authority has received representations from 21 interested parties against the proposal (mostly residents but also two parish councils. [sic] It brings to mind a simple question.... what the fuck are MK Council planning for that building, since its CLEARLY never ever going to be granted a licence again. AND more complicated questions such as.. Why are there so many objections to a licence in an area designated as noisy from the beginning of planning time ? Why doesnt someone point out they bought their houses knowing they were in a noise zone and that the leisure Plaza is the center of that noise zone ? Why are there no other venues in MK of 1000 or over anyway ? Why are there no other venues with a 5am license actually ? What substantiation is there for links for Buddha Blue anyway - and if they aren't substantiated, why are they considered in this document ? Who the fuck are Mya Mya come to think of it, and where's their website ? If there is no intention to use this building as a licensed premises, what IS the councils intention ?